Pack Mentality Read online

  Pack Mentality

  Idella Breen

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Epilogue

  Afterword

  Also by Idella Breen

  For Mike and Laurimar.

  And for my Patrons. I couldn’t have done this without you.

  This is a work of fiction. Any businesses, locations, and organizations mentioned, while real, are used in a way that is purely fictional.

  Copyright © 2019 Idella Breen

  All rights reserved.

  Book cover design by James at GoOnWrite.com

  Created with Vellum

  Prologue

  They say that blood is thicker than water. Gwen was never a fan of this kind of thought. Her only family was found family and she was very happy with that. If blood was so thick, why had her blood abandoned her? While her found family raised her up and supported her, while her found family needed her and gave as much as they took, gave her purpose, her blood family just left without so much as a goodbye. So, if blood was thicker than water, did her’s just mean nothing? Was it worthless? Was she worthless?

  “Gwen!”

  She startled from her thoughts only to look up at the faces circled around the table. Faces of her clansmen, her brothers and sisters, her aunts and uncles, her cousins and second cousins, and her nieces and nephews, none of them were by blood all of them loved her like their own.

  “Yes?”

  Remus frowned. “I asked how the younger wolves were holding up with their transformations?”

  She swallowed and gathered her thoughts. “They’re doing well. I’d like to speak with Yu and try to have her work with me some more on helping them integrate with their inner wolves better but I have high hopes for them.”

  He nodded and turned back to the meeting. Gwen looked out over the pack, and she wondered, not for the first time, how she had fallen among their ranks. At her time of need, when everything seemed to have crumbled beneath her feet, there they had been, holding their hands out towards her with the promise of family and an acceptance she had never known. And she had taken those outstretched hands and taken what they freely offered and she had given back as much as she could once she was back on her feet. Yet, her heart was still numb and heavy, and sometimes she would feel like there was something big missing from her life, something more than found family. She wasn’t quite sure what that thing was, but she was confident that she would recognize it when she found it and she promised herself that she would hold onto it. Because deep down, she knew that whatever that thing was, she needed it. She needed it like she needed air and she needed it to finally break out of the numbness that had been a constant in her life for as long as she could remember.

  “Gwen!”

  She looked up into Remus’s irritated gaze. “Yeah?”

  “Are you okay?”

  It was only then that she realized everyone was clearing out of the room. Absently, she nodded and began to walk out as well. Some fresh air would be nice. A hot hand on her wrist drew her back to her alpha and she met his now concerned gaze.

  “Yes?” She asked.

  “You would tell me if you weren’t, right?”

  Gwen smiled, her chest warming slightly. “Of course.”

  He nodded, satisfied with her answer and let her go. As she made her way out into the backyard where most of the pack had retired to for the full moon festival, Gwen took a moment to just bask in the feeling of belonging she always had when among her clansmen. The laughter of children and the grumble of older men was music to her ears. Yet, even as she listened and was filled with belonging, she couldn’t get rid of the haunting feeling that something important was missing. It was a thought that settled heavily within her gut.

  1

  “Promise me!” Mary Vega demanded and Jezebel smirked.

  “Promise you what, little sister?” Jezebel asked as she braided her youngest sister's hair.

  Mary growled petulantly, her tail swishing around from where it hung down the back of the chair and moved along with her agitation, making Jezebel chuckle. “Promise me Jazz, that you'll go on this date I've set up!”

  Jazz nodded as if she was listening to Mary, but she was actually more concerned with her two little brothers, twins god forbid, as they were edging closer and closer to the woods at the edge of their backyard. Two little rascals, they were, Jazz thought, as she released a threatening growl and they both stopped and looked back at her.

  “I know I told you two to stay away from the woods,” she said and they both had the humility to look thoroughly chastised.

  “If you try again, no ice cream after dinner. Am I clear?”

  They both shared a look, as if weighing the pros and cons, before they both nodded and looked back up, two sets of sparkling green eyes holding a certain kind of conviction only a child could have when they've reached a decision that they were sure was the right one. They both yelled, "Crystal, Sissy." And one pushed the other, and the other gave chase, and then they were playing tag, as if nothing had happened.

  Jazz let a lazy smile stretch across her lips as she turned back to her sister, Mary, and was met with an annoyed and frustrated look. "You were saying, little sister?"

  "Jazz! You're going to be alone forever if you don't date! Do you hear me? Alone!"

  "Not-uh, Mary." The little girl, whom Jazz was braiding the hair of, interrupted them shyly. Were they not what they were, Jazz is sure neither of them would have heard the little girl as she had spoken barely above a whisper.

  "And why is that Cierra?" Marry asked, fearing she already knew the answer.

  She attempted to look up, but Jazz growled softly, "I'm almost done, baby girl."

  "Oh."

  "Go on, Cierra, tell Mary what you were going to say," Jazz encouraged.

  She was quiet for a moment, and the two women waited, as they knew it could take a moment for Cierra to gather her courage and decide on what she wanted to say, and how she wanted to say it.

  "Well, Jazzy has us."

  Jezebel nodded and hummed as she finished up the braids, "I have all of you. All done sweetie."

  Cierra stood up slowly, and fixed her glasses, before turning around and pointing shyly at Mary, "She's got you," she pointed to the two boys currently wrestling in the grass, Jazz sighed, she was going to have to buy some more stain remover, "She's got Jared and Jacob," Cierra pointed to herself, "She's got me and Aaron, Cole, Sheik, and baby Elijah."

  "We can't forget baby Elijah!" Jazz repeated and Mary scowled at her before turning to their youngest sister.

  "I know she does honey, go ahead and play inside while I talk to our older sister, please." Mary leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Cierra's cheek making the little girl blush, but Cierra turned to Jezebel for permission, and Jezebel smiled and nodded as she felt Mary's irritation. Jazz stood and began collecting all the hair products and supplies.

  "Jazz, I know you love all of us despite all of us only being half-siblings," Jezebel frowned at the distinction Mary made. Family was family, but she understood the world wasn't always so simple. Mary continued unaware, "but don't you want to start your own family? Have your own children?"

  Jezebel nodded as if she was listening to Mary, but really, she was listening to the two troublemakers who were once again edging towards the woods, and she sighed more ab
out them, then about what Mary was saying. Jazz spun around, and slipped two fingers into her mouth, before releasing a head-splitting whistle that had everyone covering their ears. The whistle was quickly followed by a loud, annoyed growl, that had the two boys running into the house before it finished.

  "No ice cream, for either of you, and you're grounded from the sleepover tomorrow!" She called out as they ran to their shared bedroom. Jazz smiled as she heard their grumbles from behind their door on the second level. Jazz heard Mary sigh and looked over at her.

  "Little sister, you really should worry more about your own love life. What's going on between you, and that alpha, the one you work with?"

  Mary's face flared up like a firecracker and Jazz mentally patted herself on her back for her ability to distract her pushy and busybody of a sister.

  "Oh, gosh, Jazz. He's amazing. Totally my type. And well, we get along so well, but I don't know? Things have just always been busy for him, and he is my boss, so we just try and keep it professional."

  Jazz nodded as she walked into the two-story house, mansion really, their mother was beyond rich as she was the alpha feline of their pride, and Mary followed behind her gushing about the flowers this so-called, Remus Lander, had placed on her desk in the office one day, and the sweet card he had left along with it.

  She had put away the hair supplies and was now pulling out the things she needed to make dinner, when Aaron and Cole ran through the kitchen, only for Sheik to come screaming after them. Jazz watched them lazily and with a bit of amusement, as the boys slammed and locked themselves in the downstairs bathroom, and Sheik raised her hand, probably about to break another door. Jezebel growled softly, and Sheik paused, and turned back to her, "You break it, then you buy another one."

  Sheik grumbled and stomped off back to her bedroom. Jazz waited, and a moment later the door popped open, and Cole's messy mop of dark brown hair popped out before yelling back to his older brother that Sheik was gone. They both walked out carefully and paused when they realized Jazz was watching them. Aaron smiled nervously. "Hey, sis."

  Jazz studied them until her eyes came to rest on a cracked cellphone gripped in Aaron's hand. She simply held out her hand, and his shoulders slumped before he grabbed Cole and they both trudged over to her, and dropped the phone into her palm.

  "Break it…" She said and waited.

  "Buy it." Aaron's shoulders slumped even more if that was possible.

  "You'll have enough with your next allowance," Jazz said and Aaron groaned.

  "But Jazz, that will be all of it!"

  "Should have thought of that before your curiosity got the better of you. You know what they say, curiosity killed the cat — "

  "But satisfaction brought it back!"

  "Are you satisfied?" Jazz asked as she pulled out some carrots.

  "Well, kinda."

  She stood back up, "Good. Now, you can do what adults do, and replace what you broke with your own money."

  Aaron sighed and grabbed Cole, who was jabbering to Mary about his wild adventure, and Jazz caught the gist that he had been suckered into doing the dirty work for his older brother, Aaron, again, with the promise of candy. Once they were gone, Mary began talking about Remus again, and Jazz began chopping while considering that she would have to wake Elijah from his nap soon. It was a few moments later, and halfway through a story about how Remus ripped his shirt because his muscles were too big, when Cierra came into the kitchen with her nose buried in a book. Cierra was the shyest, and thus the quietest of the siblings, Jazz had to take the most care when dealing with her. If she was too harsh, Cierra tended to close up. She'd had a bad experience with her father, and though nothing too terrible had happened, it had hurt the girl's confidence. It was also one of the reasons Jazz was now taking care of all her siblings. Cierra plopped down on the chair next to Mary who was still gushing about her crush and at this point she was basically talking to herself. Jazz turned to her.

  "What are you reading, baby girl?"

  The girl held up the book, so Jazz could see the cover, and she smiled. "Your braids are cute."

  Cierra blushed, and buried her face into the book again, so Jazz went back to cooking.

  "And, Jazz you wouldn't believe how sweet he is!"

  "Do you feel close to him?" Jezebel asked as she tossed the chopped bits into a very large pot.

  Mary finally took a breath only to stare at her sister in confusion. "What do you mean?"

  "Well, you said he was a werewolf, right?"

  "Yeah, so?"

  "You know werewolves have blood bonds, right?"

  "Yeah, but —“

  Jazz paused and thought for a moment. "They have imprints." She spun around to see the shock on her sister's face. "Their soulmate if you will."

  Mary was quiet and Jazz faltered. "You didn't know?"

  "No, I knew. I just forgot I guess."

  "Has he ever mentioned anything?"

  Mary shook her head. Jazz frowned. "But he's been doing all of these nice things?"

  Mary nodded. Jazz shrugged and turned back to the pot. "You should ask him about it then."

  "What if I'm not? His blood bond, I mean?"

  "Then at least you'll know what you're getting yourself into."

  Jazz let Mary stew over that as she finished up the beef stew she was making for dinner. Just before she was about to call all the little monsters down for dinner, Mary spoke up. "But, we get something like that too, don't we?"

  Jazz paused, and turned back to her sister in surprise, but then she remembered the kind of woman their mother was, and she felt anger stir within her gut only to squash it back down to where it belonged. "Mary, we do have something similar, but it's also somewhat different. We're cats. All different types of cats but cats none the less. Our genetics demand that we mate, a lot." Jazz waved her hand around to make a point. "But we also love fiercely, possessively, and passionately. It's quick, sometimes unexpected, other times it's like a game of cat and mouse, while others still it's hot then cold. But we are cats, and though we love fiercely, we also love many. But, we aren't animals. We carry an animal within us, but we have a humanity that rules us, so you get to decide if he is your one and only. You don't have to follow in our mother's footsteps. And I hate to say this, but believe me, you'll know it when it happens, and you'll hate me when I say, you can't stop it once it starts, even if you're not his blood bond."

  Mary's face was solemn and she looked away, "She could have been better," she whispered.

  Jazz nodded. "We deserved better. But this is what we have and this is who we are. Now, make the best of it." Then she turned around and yelled, "Dinner's ready!"

  Jezebel watched them, all around the table while they ate, somewhat proudly as she fed Elijah. She was the eldest of this litter and therefore they were all her responsibility for several reasons. Mary was the second eldest, then Aaron who was seventeen, Sheik who was sixteen, Cole who was seven, the twins, Jared and Jacob who were both six, Cierra who was four, and finally Elijah who had just turned one this past winter. Due to their mother's tendencies to never commit as was the way of the alpha female, all the siblings were different types of cats. It was an old practice, to mate with many different types so that the strongest genetics would rule the pride. Jezebel despised the old ways. Jezebel was a nekomusume, a cat demon and her cat species was a panther. Mary was a werecat, Aaron was a lion, Sheik was a black panther, Cole was a cheetah, the twins were jaguars, Cierra was a lynx, and Elijah was too young to have manifested his, but they all suspected he was going to take after his father who had been a sabertooth. More importantly, though, they were all her's now, and she had every intention of taking care of them all. Their mother was a certain kind of woman, and all of their fathers had been certain kinds of men, but Jezebel had claimed custody of all of them, and she was going to make sure they were raised to the best of her ability.

  "Jazz?" Mary got her attention from where she sat on her right.

&nb
sp; "Yes?"

  "I hope you find someone one day. Hopefully, soon. You deserve that much."

  Jezebel smiled and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her sister's ear. "Thank you, Mary. Now, kindly finish your carrots."

  Mary groaned, and the rest of the monsters snickered. Yes, they were all her's, and she was going to help them as best as she could.

  “Swear it!” A man yelled, his voice grated on Silvia’s nerves, and she wondered, not for the first time, how the hell she’d found herself in this situation.

  “Swear — ” the man began to yell again, but a hand rose, silencing him. The man whose hand had stopped the annoying, grating, loud yelling was the reason for this horrible situation Silvia was currently in. Currently, meaning that a minute ago she was not in this situation, and a minute ago her life had been simpler, but now, as in currently, her life was now complicated, and Silvia was annoyed, but she was also in the sort of situation where currently, she was about to die.

  Hence why a minute ago her life was less complicated, but now it was more complicated, and it could then go on to be simple once again if she so chose to keep her mouth shut currently, as by not swearing her loyalty to a man, whom Silvia was very sure was a very bad man, some might even call him evil, but Silvia would rather just call him ambitious as she held many of the same qualities she had seen in him thus far. Anyway, by remaining silent, she was essentially signing her death certificate, but to speak, or rather, to swear what they demanded, that was a certain type of death all on its own.

  The man kneeled down beside her, and leaned in until his mouth rested against her ear, and she knew that at this moment, as in currently, as in the new currently, as in only a moment ago when all she was concerned with was the annoying voice of the other man, and she quickly realized was now a less complicated moment than the one she was currently in, Silvia sighed as she listened to the man in her new currently, and she knew that in a moment, the next currently, not the present one, but the one where she knew she was going to swear her loyalty to this man currently leaning in to whisper whatever it was he was going to say, that Silvia was now completely sure was going to make her new currently a lot more complicated, and the next currently even worse, because one such as this man, does not lean in to whisper something unless he knew that it would change everything.